Tuesday Poem: Media Advice To The Disgraced CEO

Don't try to sell your story. That would only remind the public
of the millions in bonuses, the failed investments, the workers
turned out on their ear. Don't try to sell your story,
but make sure you have a story to tell.

It's hard to appear contrite - we know. Think of yourself
as an actor playing a part. Mention a disabled relative you've
(quietly, anonymously) been helping out. A cause
you're passionate about: animal rescue, flower shows.

That first interview is crucial. Show them
you're not a monster but a man. A monster doesn't care - a man
makes mistakes, has made mistakes. You admit mistakes were made.
You're only human and you got things wrong.

And as for your latest bonus: you offered to return it,
but the company said no. So what you're going to do is,
you're donating it instead. (Animal rescue, flower shows. A hospital?)
But for this interview, you wouldn't have told a soul.

Remember contrition? Now you have to show it. The interview
is hard for you, and by the end you're dabbing at your eyes.
The public will swallow any grade of bullshit
that is packaged with a redemptive tear.

Credit note: This is a new and previously unpublished poem.

Tim says: You might think that this poem is inspired by recent events, but I couldn't possibly comment.

The Tuesday Poem: Is ready to rock.